Monday, May 28, 2012

Katie Piper: I Asked Mum To Kill Me



Tears streamed down my face as i read this :'(

(http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/katie-piper-asked-mum-kill-013627576.html)


"In the 1980s, when her children were young, Diane Piper kept a diary of their progress. They were an ordinary family. The Pipers lived in a sleepy Hampshire village, where Diane was an infant-school teacher. Her husband, David, was a barber, and their children, Paul, Katie and Suzy, proceeded happily through karate and ballet lessons, kite flying and beach excursions. Katie was, by some measure, the loudest. "She was quite wilful, headstrong, very independent and made friends wherever she went," says Diane.
"You're being very diplomatic," says Katie, laughing.
The diary petered out, but four years ago she resurrected it, this time not for a happy reason. Diane was at the gym one day, when there was a call from David. They had to get to the Royal Free hospital in London, he said, because Katie had been the victim of a chemical attack. There was no other information, so they packed a bag and went. "We ran out of the house that night, not really knowing what we were going to," says Diane. Had someone thrown bleach at their daughter? Anthrax? Were terrorists involved?
The attack had, in fact, been planned by Katie's ex-boyfriend, and the substance thrown in her face was sulphuric acid. She had had to wait an hour in a cafe for an ambulance, screaming while the liquid burned down to the bone. When they first saw her in hospital, Diane, a quiet, unassuming woman, was stunned. "I think when you go into a state of shock, you go numb – I didn't cry." They were taken to the specialist burns unit, where, "They were treating her, trying to wash her face. There were people everywhere, tubes everywhere ... and we stood and looked, almost not believing it was Katie."
Disbelief is the natural reaction to the story, because of the severity of the attack and the extent of Katie's progress. When it happened, she was working as a model, trying to build a television career; while Diane knew her daughter was resilient, she worried about how she would cope. "Her whole career, her whole future, focused on her face, and that face was," her voice drops suddenly, "forever damaged. It's like a pianist losing their fingers, isn't it? You think, well, OK, she's still here, she's still alive, thank God – but you couldn't really see what was going to happen after she left hospital."
Katie describes the attack and its aftermath in her gripping memoir, Beautiful. She was in her early 20s, living in London, appearing on late-night TV shows – "working on the DIY channel," she says, "selling cordless kettles" – when she was contacted by a man called Danny Lynch on Facebook. They had 30 mutual friends on the website, so he seemed credible at first, and after he bombarded her with lovely messages she started to see him. He told her he was a martial arts enthusiast who owned property and was also studying computing.
Before long, she began to doubt his stories and had resolved to break up with him. Then he raped her. He threatened to harm her or her family if she told anyone. In the following days he continued to call and text constantly, until the moment he implored her to go outside, to an internet cafe, to pick up an email he had sent. An associate of his, Stefan Sylvestre, was waiting in the street and the acid he threw in her face led to the loss of her eyelids, most of her nose and part of one ear. Her face had to be cut away entirely, in the first of almost 100 operations.
Sitting on the sofa beside Diane, it's only Katie's slightly defensive posture – knees against her chest, arms wrapped around them – that betrays the impact of what happened four years ago. With her tumbling hair and towering heels, she is exceptionally glamorous and her career is thriving. She has a two-year deal to make programmes for Channel 4, writes a column for the weekly magazine Reveal, takes acting classes as a hobby and runs a major charity for fellow burns survivors. She has proved to be an excellent, articulate advocate for their cause.
As a result of TV appearances, including a documentary on her story, she often meets people who ask how she survived the assault, which was clearly intended to obliterate her. In response, she has written a guide for people in traumatic situations, Things Get Better. Katie finds it embarrassing when people praise her: "There was no way I could have gone home, lived on my own and got through it all. It was a group effort."
She and her mother talk every day, and their close relationship is obvious when they discuss the book at the start of our interview. Katie tells Diane, for the first time, that the book is dedicated to her and David. Diane silently rolls her eyes.
"Oh thanks!" says Katie.
Diane blinks with surprise.
"Oh, you mean really? Seriously? Oh right. I thought you'd have dedicated it to all the people who have helped you."
Katie hoots at her mother's modesty. "The first one was dedicated to my doctor and I thought the second one should be dedicated to you."
"Ah, how nice," says Diane, clearly still confused by the idea that she has done anything extraordinary.
Diane and David stayed at the hospital for seven weeks to be with Katie. The outlook was bleak. On a high dose of morphine in the days after the attack, Katie wrote a note to Diane asking her mother to kill her. She had to wear a mask made from skin from donor corpses for 10 days, before an operation in which the dermal substitute Matriderm was applied to her face, as a foundation for grafts from all over her body. Then she was put into an induced coma for 12 days (the pain would have been too extreme otherwise). There were times in hospital, says Katie, when her eyes were open, but she thought she was, "on a ship, or in a prison, in another country. All these weird hallucinations."
Diane started a diary of Katie's progress, and also took photographs. "I wanted to show her that this wasn't the end. This was just the beginning, and she would get better. And there was the proof."
She could tell her daugher: "There's the photo of you a month ago – and look at you now."
The pictures helped enormously, says Katie. She could look at them and think, oh, the redness has gone down. Oh, I can move my face more ... If I ever felt depressed when the treatment had finished, I could look at the photos and think, I've come so far."
The attack left Katie partially blind in one eye; Diane and David both offered to donate their eyes and skin, but were told it wasn't possible.
After Katie left hospital, and came back to the family home, she had to wear a plastic mask, and her sister Suzy offered to wear one too, in solidarity. Suzy also hid notes all over the house, telling Katie how much she loved her. Her brother Paul tracked down Pam Warren, who suffered severe burns in the Paddington rail disaster in 1999, and had also worn a plastic mask, arranging for her to visit them. She turned up with a friend, "We didn't know which one was her!" says Katie.
Diane nods: "That was a big boost for the whole family."
Diane and David had to massage Katie's skin four times daily, while struggling to keep her spirits up. She was terrified at first, fearful of being burned or attacked again, of going out in public. It was as if she was a child, needing to be reintroduced to the world.There were many times, says Diane, when she felt helpless. "If Katie's upset then I get upset – if she cries, I cry," she says.
"There were times when Katie would be feeling low, and she'd say, 'I hate my face'. You feel helpless as a parent because you can't fix it. But mostly she was very upbeat."
The treatment Katie's plastic surgeon, Dr Mohammad Jawad, performed was revolutionary; she was one of the first people in the world to have a full-face Matriderm treatment, which Jawad has since been able to perform on women in similar circumstances in Pakistan. But despite its success, she still needs more surgery. The scars on her neck have contracted, so it's hard to turn her head.
"If, in a few years, my eyelids contract, they'll turn inside out. I have to have nasal reconstruction, for the septum and nostrils, to help with breathing." Her throat was damaged in the attack, so "my oesophagus narrows with scar tissue, and I have to keep having that widened."
Lynch and Sylvestre were both given life sentences. How does Diane feel about them now? "Oh, I don't really think about that," she says, "because it's wasted energy, isn't it? What's done is done, we can't change that, but we can change the way we cope with it."
There was a time when Katie thought she would never have a normal, happy life again but she is dating now, and looking forward to one day having children. When she does, she says she'll try to live up to Diane's example. "My mum has come to every operation with me. She's waited for eight hours, in a side room, with no chair, for me to go into surgery. She's come to foreign countries with me to have treatment, and not been able to speak to anyone. I really hope I can be like her."
Diane's eyebrows jump. She looks as nonplussed as ever by the compliment."
Things Get Better by Katie Piper is published by Quercus, £12.99. To order a copy for £10.39, including free UK p&p, go to guardian.co.uk/bookshop or call 0330 333 6846
guardian.co.uk © Guardian News and Media 2012

Monday, May 14, 2012

No U-Turn Syndrome (NUTS) By Sim Wong Hoo





"No U-Turn Syndrome (NUTS)
Chaotic Thoughts from the Old Millenium
by Sim Wong Hoo
Introduction:
Whats is NUTS? NUTS is when you want to do something and you seek approval of a higher authority. When there is no rule saying that you can do such a thing, then the standard answer is NO …
In the US, when there is no sign on the road, it means that you can make a U-turn. When the authority do not want people to make U-turns, they will put up signs to tell you not to make U-turns.

In Singapore, it is the reverse. When there is no sign on the road, you are not allowed to make U-turns. When the authority allow you to make U-turns, then they will put up signs to give you that right. The two different systems serve the same purpose – to better manage the traffic. They may look quite similar, just coming from different direction, but the social repercussion is significant.

In Singapore, the no U-turn without sign culture has permeated every level of our thinking and every segment of our life. This no U-turn has created a way of life that is based on rules. When there is a U-turn sign or when there is a rule, we can U-turn. When there is no sign, we cannot U-turn. When there is no rule, we cannot do anything. We become paralyzed. I call this “no-rule=no-do” phenomenon – the “No U-Turn Syndrome” or NUTS.

Singapore has prospered under a rule-based system for many years. When we were at a lower level of development, we needed many multi-national companies to come to Singapore to invest. What these MNCs needed were a very reliable group of managers and workers who could follow exactly the rules set by corporate headquarters overseas. Since they did not want their overseas subsidiaries to innovate anything, they wanted us to stick closely to the rules, no funny deals, no crazy ideas. They were here to teach us, not to listen to ideas from us.
The efficiency and no-nonsense style of the Singapore government is well-known. It has brought us prosperity and a good life. A rule-based system is essential here too to get everybody to toe the line.
But the world has changed. And it is changing faster and faster. So fast that the rules that were set yesterday are no longer valid and cannot serve our new needs. It is not a matter of setting new rules to meet the new situation because by the time new rules are formulated, they would already be out of date. It is a matter of how to survive and prosper in environments where they are no rules.It is a matter of how to live with ambiguity. Things are no more black or white, things are in shades of gray. How do we deal with them?

What is NUTS? NUTS is when you want to do something and you seek the approval of a higher authority. When there is no rule saying that you can do such a thing, then the standard answer is NO. What is wrong with this? There is nothing wrong if we choose to be stuck in the old world of our own where nothing changes. To meet the challenge of the new world, to meet the challenge of rising to a knowledge-based economy, we have to innovate like mad. How can we innovate when we need to obey rules to innovate? Innovate means to create things out of nothing, it means moving into uncharted territories where there are no rules. How can you innovate when you have to get approval of somebody who looks at a rule-book first?

Such is the syndrome of NUTS. NUTS is everywhere in the society including schools, offices, hospitals, parks, factories and even in our homes. Yes, in Creative (Singapore) too. Here are some hilarious examples, they make you want to laugh and cry at the same time. I am sure you can tell me more.

NUTS #2-”Creative Resource”-needed approval?
When our corporate headquarters were completed in 1997, we needed to give it a name. The placeholder name was Creative Technology Centre. Made sense, but it was a boring name that everybody had. I wanted a special name, because we are “creative”. So the usual names like, “Creative Building, Plaza, Complex, House…” were suggested on the name list. I rejected all of them. Finally we came out with a very good name, “Creative Resource” – the source of all creativity – and everybody loved it.
But wait, before we could go ahead, we had to submit the building name for approval. What! I was shocked. I needed somebody else’s approval for the name of my own building. By some faceless committee that I did not even know existed. Imagine having the name of your baby being approved by somebody you do not know.

Hey, that is the regulation. OK, we submitted and no prize for guessing the right answer. The answer was NO. The reason given was that the name was not “Centre, Plaza, Building, Complex, House etc…” There was actually a list of approved names in the rulebook and we were only given the impression that we could name our own building. I nearly jumped through the roof when I heard the answer. It was a very typical case of NUTS. “Resource” was not in their rule book, hence the standard answer was NO. I was not going to give up on this right. So we fought back and wrote letters to appeal. Finally, after a long process, our name was approved. Whew!

NUTS #3 – Cannot sing Singapore songs!!
While we were preparing for the opening ceremony of Creative Resource, we wanted to have a lot of creative fun. We prepared a lot of performances by our own staff. We were very fortunate to have invited the Prime Minister, Mr Goh Chok Tong to grace the event. We wanted to show him the best creativity in us.
The opening fanfare idea was to have a big group of kids running into the building, singing a medley of Patriotic Singapore Songs. It was going to be very delightful. After the songs were arranged and recorded, at the last moment, someone in the team decided that we actually needed to seek approval from the authority because of copyright issues. The answer came back was of course a NO.
There was no rule to say that you could do a medley of Singapore songs. There was a rule that said we could sing the Singapore song in special celebratory occasions like ours, so this was allowed.
Our people started to panic, because there was no time to change the recordings. They sought my advice. They were thinking of canceling this delightful fanfare and disappointing the kids, from our Creative O child-care centre, who had practiced so hard for this event.
I asked them why they had thought of seeking approval for a private function especially when the answer could be a No. they were afraid that the TV stations were there filming and it might have constituted copyright infringement!

There were a few NUTS at work here. First it is my own staff who were NUTS, they were toeing the line so tightly that they felt the need to seek approval for a private function that was not controversial at all. I was sure that the PM would give his 100% endorsement. Then we had the NUTS at the approval side who looked at the rule book and said No.
I asked them to go ahead and just do it, even violating the rejection letter. Some of my NUTS staff must have freaked out. I told them I would bear the full responsibility. If I had to pay a $2000 fine, I would pay it. In the worst, worst case I might go to jail for it – that would be interesting too.
In fact, the PM in his impromptu part of his speech also said, to move forward, we would have to “just do it”. It was a timely message."

Friday, May 11, 2012

Philosophy's "Believe In Miracles" Workshop


Attend Philosophy's "Believe in Miracles" skincare workshop recently...this workshop is part of their re-launch campaign here...i used their products previously before they pulled out of sg...on first look, the many new products seemed pretty promising as compared to what was avail here previously...i was given the cleanser for answering a question...this cleanser is one of their best-sellers n currently out-of-stock at the Sephora counter...i pop by subsequently to pick up a skincare...the ingredients look promising n it has won Allure's award =)

Goodie bag from Philosophy


Overheard a bf telling a gf this while the gf was wondering what size of bikini top to buy:"if u r shy, y don't u just wear a proper swimsuit?" typical protective bf who's afraid of other guys looking at his gf in a bikini eh? ;p

I see baggage sales almost everywhere! Where can I dump my excess baggage? Don't take me literally though ;p

Wanna wish all the mothers here a happy mothers' day! N for the rest here, y not aim to make everyday happy mothers' day for ur mum instead of only today?

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Are Men Threatened by Successful Women?







Saw this article on Diva (http://www.divaasia.com/article/7175)

"In Chinese folklore, girls born in Tiger years seem to be cursed. They bring bad luck upon themselves, to their families and even to their husbands' families.

I, as a "tiger girl", am a little bit offended by this. Though I don't believe the old sayings, I could not stop wondering why the Chinese ancestors had such hateful thoughts for tiger girls thousands of years ago.

Then, I read a theory about "surplus women", referring to those who were approaching their 30s.

In the theory, all men and women are classified into four categories: A, B, C and D from the elite class to the bottom class. And it works like this: A class men marry B class women, B class men stay with C class women, then C class men choose D class women.

In the end, A class women can either end up alone or go out with D class men. If they don't want to compromise themselves with D class men, they become "surplus women".

It turns out that the main reason "surplus women" become "surplus" is they are too successful.

If the theory is true, all the years of study and hard work may just put a lot of women on an express train to the hell.

I couldn't help wondering why men don't like A class women until my friend told me her recent experience of a blind date.

In the date, my well-educated, well-paid friend successfully scared the man away.

Looking at the brand-name logos all over my friend's body, the man only asked one question: "Do you think I'm good enough for you?"

Most of my circle of friends and acquaintances: ambitious, successful and talented women encounter the same problem.

They are equal, if not superior to, most of the men in their lives.

Facing the achievements made by those women, most men will assume that they have a very high standard for their partners and they must be picky.

The theory is just like the tale of tiger girls. Girls who are born in the year are believed to be fierce, wild and able to control everything - even their husbands.

It is high time that modern men realized successful women are still women."

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Interesting quote that i saw on facebook:
"Whatever u give a woman, she will make it greater. Give her sperm, she will give u a baby. Give her a house, she will give u a home. Give her groceries, she will give u a meal. Give her a smile n she will give u her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if u give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit..."
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A v.different kind of IPAD for the ladies ;p


Damn funny scene at a Call Center (Part 1)


Damn funny scene at a call center (Part 2)

Friday, May 4, 2012

True Love and Chemistry: Exploring Myth and Reality





The silly typo in that pic drives me nuts -.-"






Juz wanna share this damn good article sent to me by my fren Gunawan...it's a muz-read!!!

"True Love and Chemistry: Exploring Myth and Reality

By Toni Coleman, LCSW


When you think about the qualities found in a true "soul mate" relationship, what one word comes up most often on the top of your list?

Is it CHEMISTRY? Probably.

Just the mention of this term conjures up powerful feelings and images for anyone who has ever been in or seeking a love relationship. It is often described as a feeling that leaves you breathless, excited and weak in the knees. Palms sweat, the heart races and the body tingles with nervous anticipation.

It is believed by virtually everyone that true love cannot exist without chemistry. Therefore, the conclusion most would-be lovers come to is that if they experience these intense feelings towards someone, they have the basis for an ideal and lasting relationship.

Right? Maybe not. For this definition of chemistry is limited to one's physical response to another person. It lacks an entire dimension that resides in our values, beliefs, personalities and worldview.

In order to know you have the right connection with a potential (or existing) partner, it's important to have a basic knowledge of what real chemistry consists of, instead of embracing only the myths that surround it. This can be difficult to do. This intense, physical passion is the stuff that Oscar winning movies and best-selling books are made of. So, take a step back for a minute and see if you recognize yourself in the following.

Sarah is a thirty something, very attractive and successful, professional female. She has been in a relationship for over a year with a man who is unfaithful, disrespectful and incapable (unwilling) to make any commitment to her. Yet, when he makes late night "booty calls", forgets her birthday, or stands her up repeatedly - she remains available and willing, in spite of her general unhappiness and upset over their "relationship". Why? "I think I have mistaken great sex for love. I feel this intense chemistry and physical intimacy when we are having sex, even though he offers me nothing else. Over time, it has left me unhappy and feeling badly about myself."

John is an attractive, intelligent, 30 something male who owns his own successful business. He's dating a woman that he thinks he is in love with. He has knowledge that she has been out with other men. She cancels dates and is often critical and emotionally distant. She refuses to discuss commitment or taking the relationship to the next level. Yet, she turns to John for emotional, physical and financial help whenever she feels she needs it. Why does John continue to see her? "She's beautiful and the sex is great". We have such strong physical chemistry. It's almost like an addiction for me. My friends can't stand her and even I know she's not really a "keeper", but it's hard to walk away.

These vignettes are great examples of how physical chemistry can be mistaken for the real thing. The attraction on one level is strong, yet these are not relationships that have the right elements to grow into happy and satisfying partnerships.

So, what is missing?

Kahlil Gibran defines it as "spiritual affinity". It's the hidden element of chemistry. It's when two beings meet and connect on a deeper level. It can only be felt in the heart and soul. It's about friendship, respect, humor and the feelings of warmth and contentment that come when you are in his/her presence.

People often report finding one without the other. This is understandably a cause of great frustration and confusion about whom should we choose and why. In order to understand this better, it is helpful to know how and when each facet of chemistry occurs.

Physical attraction (or lust) generally begins during our first contact with someone. It can DEVELOP into something more over time, yet some pull is there from the beginning. The chemical that results from this attraction (and intensifies it) is phenyl ethylamine - or PEA. It is a naturally occurring substance in the brain. Essentially, it is a natural amphetamine. It stimulates us and increases both physical and emotional energy. The attraction causes us to produce more PEA, which results in those dizzying feelings associated with romantic love. Another substance that is released by PEA is dopamine. This chemical increases a desire to be physically close and intimately connected.

When these chemicals are being secreted in larger doses, they send signals from the brain to the other organs of the body. If you wonder why you or someone is attracted to the "wrong" person, it may be because you are high on the physical response to these substances, which overwhelm your ability to use your head and exercise "good judgment and common sense".

"Spiritual affinity" develops over time and repeated contact. When these feelings begin to emerge, the brain produces endorphins. These are more like morphine and result in an increased sense of calm that reduces anxiety and helps to build attachment. As relationships move into this phase they are characterized by more comfort, commitment and friendship.

Generally speaking, all "soul mate relationships" require at least some measure of each of these. The important thing to remember is that they come in stages, which is not to say that the physical attraction passes as one moves into a deeper connection. However, it changes. We cannot sustain those intense emotions as we travel down the road to commitment and a shared life. However, in healthy relationships those moments of intensity can and do occur for brief intervals at intermittent times.

Remember not to confuse great sex or deep friendship with romantic love. Instead, look for a measure of both of these in your feelings for another. For then you have the ingredients that lasting love is made from.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q. I am an attractive, professional and intelligent female. I see myself as someone who has good common sense and judgment. Yet, I have gotten myself into a relationship (of sorts) that is making me miserable. I have been seeing a guy for over a year. We have a fantastic sex life. We really connect and are in tune with each other this way. We also have fun together and seem to relate well on a number of levels. The problem? I have found out that he has been with two other women since we have been going out. I was under the impression that we are a couple and was shocked by this information, which came through a friend.

What do I do? I really like this guy and even have feelings of love. I know he cares about me, but has not wanted to discuss the issue, which has led us to an impasse. I don't understand why he feels the need to be with other women. I feel like a fool for not just dropping him and moving on. Any help with this would be appreciated.

A. His refusal to discuss it is a bad sign. I think you know this only too well. It appears that your impressions of how well you get along and relate to each other are accurate, at least on a certain level. You are very attracted to one another, etc. So, what's the problem? HIM.

There could be a number of possibilities that have to do with not only who he is, but also to his past experiences and views of commitment, etc. But the only issue that you need to focus on is his (apparent) inability to remain monogamous- at least with you. This is only a hunch, but there's a strong possibility here that he is one of those individuals who crave the feelings that come with the early and more physically exciting stage of attraction. This early time in a relationship brings that rush of adrenaline that causes the heart to race and produces a feeling of being "high".

Some people cheat on loving partners- whom they sometimes care deeply for- because of their addiction to those intense feelings. This is how some "good" marriages come apart or why some people report a lack of control over a behavior that they know is destructive to them and to those they love.

Regardless of why he does this- unless he sees this as a real problem that he wants to change- you have no control over his behavior. Therefore, you need to focus on your own physical and emotional well-being. Continuing an intimate relationship with him could be dangerous to your health and your self-esteem. I recommend that you take a break and give yourself some time. When you are ready to date someone new, you will know it. Until then, you can spend some time thinking about what you desire and need from a relationship and what you must have and won't tolerate from a future partner.

END NOTES

This issue was written to help you to have a clearer understanding of what REAL relationship chemistry is. When you have a good understanding of how you choose potential partners, it should help you to evaluate your choices better and make the right one for you. It is also helpful in understanding any problem you may be having in a present relationship."

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"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. ~ Richard Bach"

"Some men feel the need 2 love a thousand different women but a real man knows how 2 love one woman a thousand different ways - Chels L Rouqin"

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

"Love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you." ~ Vipin Sharma

"If you're looking out for love, you may never find it. If you choose to love first, it will be returned. For what you sow, you shall also reap."


Quote from Eric:
"After defining what you hope your future spouse will be like, do also consider what your future spouse hopes how you will be like. If you can, try to be the dream person for your dream person. For if not, one day when you find him or her, because we are not there yet, he or she may not want us. And golden chances slip away. We need time to build ourselves. Start now"

Saw the following quote on a fren's facebook:
"不是你邀请我进你的世界;是我当初自己闯进你的世界。我们到最后,还是来自不同的世界。"
which translates to somthg like ---> "i wasn't invited into ur world...i was the one who barged my way into ur world in the v.first place...but in the end, we come from different worlds..."
sounds sad ya...but how true for many cases...we r living in a practical society n it's not easy for ppl who come from different worlds to b together...

David tao new song...ur song...he sings abt coming from 2 different worlds...o.O


Regarding DT ;p


Another of david's new song...


check out all those cute bikini babes ;p


omg...i didn't realize that david was in town recently!!!gosh...i miz him again -.-


he was here late nov...n he's chatty as usual...gosh...i would hav q up for his autograph if i knew he was here...haiz -.-


a clearer version o.O

Loneliness Can Be Contagious

Read the following news article abt how loneliness can b contagious o.O" Come join us this Xmas eve n b part of our hip networking scene n get to know more new frenz n b lonely no more! =)

"Loneliness Can Be Contagious

WASHINGTON : It only takes one individual in a group to begin to feel lonely for the feeling to spread to others, a US study said Tuesday.

After tracking over 5,100 people and their social contacts over 10 years, researchers found that loneliness can be contagious and that lonely, disconnected people tend to move to the fringes of social networks.

"On the periphery, people have fewer friends, yet their loneliness leads them to losing the few ties they have left," said University of Chicago psychologist John Cacioppo, the study's lead author.

Before lonely people sever relationships, they transmit loneliness to their friends who then also become lonely, according to the federally-funded study published in the December issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

"These reinforcing effects mean that our social fabric can fray at the edges, like a yarn that comes loose at the end of a crocheted sweater," explained Cacioppo, who was joined by University of California, San Diego and Harvard Medical School researchers.

Researchers stayed in touch with the subjects every two to four years.

Using the participants' friendship histories and information about their reported loneliness, the study uncovered a pattern of loneliness showing that lonely people "infected" those around them with the negative emotion and that lonely people moved to the edges of social networks.

The next-door neighbours of lonely people who experienced an additional day of loneliness a week caused their own neighbours and close friends to feel lonely, a pattern that escalated as the neighbours shared less time together.

The study, funded by the National Institute on Aging, also found that women were more likely to "catch" loneliness from others, in line with previous work suggesting that women rely more on emotional support than men.

As with groups of monkeys, societies tend to drive away lonely members, according to Cacioppo. Research has shown that the more people are lonely, the less they trust others, which hampers their ability to form friendships.

"Society may benefit by aggressively targeting the people in the periphery to help repair their social networks and to create a protective barrier against loneliness that can keep the whole network from unraveling," said Cacioppo. "

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"I know people who have a lot of money and they get testimonial dinners and hospital wings named after them. But the truth is that nobody in the world loves them. When you get to my age, you'll measure your success in life by how many of the people you want to have love you actually do love you. That's the ultimate test of how you’ve lived your life!” ~ Warren Buffet

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Response from facebook fren to this blog entry:
"Hi Tono, I love reading your messages and your blog. You are funny and have a great personality - No one should be lonely- Especially at this time of year. It's really up to all of us not to let that happen to anyone."
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Saw this line somewhere n copied it...v.applicable...
"幸福是靠自己去爭取的~不管是友情或愛情~~錯過了就沒有了..." but "有些事情你现在不必问,有些人你永远不必等..." haiz -.-"

Dear Hero...Who r the heroes in ur life? =)


Facebook addicts beware ;p


Ponder before u send out ur smses o.O”

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

"10 Values: Build to Last" By My Leechie Idol Ms. Elim Chew



Wanna share this touching yet motivating article written by my idol, ms. Elim Chew =)
(http://www.straitstimes.com/SME%2BSpotlight/SME%2BBlogs/Working%2Btowards%2BSuccess/STIStory_453404.html)

"A Good Friend Mr. Tan Ye Peng, the founder of CityCare and Social Innovation Park Fellows Award 2008 winner shared with me about ten values to build companies to last. The SIP Fellow Award is an award to recognize outstanding and high-achieving individuals who are creating systemic change to the community and Mr. Tan was one the four award recipients.

I had the opportunity to share these same values that I live by, at the NUS Commencement Ceremony for Business School with a graduation class of 400 to 500 students. I was the speaker and presiding office to give out the scrolls.

As the speaker, I saw the faces of graduates who would be facing the world as they leave NUS to impact the business community or to start their own business.

I trust that the 10 values I shared with them will bring them success in life and the business they are involved with. I believe as you begin to apply them, you will see positive changes that you desire to see happening to you also.

People often ask me how I become successful in what I am doing or how they can be successful in life. I do not believe in get-rich-quick schemes or any shortcuts. They may get you somewhere for a while but eventually it is about building your character and values as the foundation and cornerstone in your life that will bring you true lasting riches and success. The values on Building to Last are the very values that I treasure and live by.

10 Values: Build to Last: Here we go!

1. LOYALTY
Choose who you align yourself with.
In a company, the CEO's vision becomes your vision.
If you are managing your own company, you would want your staff to be loyal to your vision so that together you can achieve it.

2. COMMITMENT
You must be committed to the company and whom you have chosen to align yourself with,

Vision without commitment is not going to get you anywhere.

You can set many visions but if you are not committed to it, nothing will happen.

3. RESPECT
Respect for one another, respect for the leadership that you are under. Speak well of each other. Show proper respect to whom honour is due.

It is important to learn how to respect and honour one another. When you respect others, you are respecting yourself and respect will follow after you. Attitude is everything.

4. ACCOUNTABILITY
You must be accountable to your CEO - the one that sets the vision. If you are not accountable and connected to your CEO, you would not know.
- Whether the strategy is updated?
- Whether you are still in the right direction that your leader wants you to do?
When there is accountability, there will be update on the progress, accurate communication and constant evaluation to empower you so that you can play a part to add value to your company. Then we are building something that will last!

5. FAMILY
You can be working so hard for your family but you have no time to enjoy with them. Nobody at the end of his life, would be lying down on his bed and say his last words, "I wish I can work one more day!" No! They would probably say, "I wish I had spent more time with my family.

6. LOVE
Without love, you cannot build anything that will last.
Love what you do, love yourself and love people.
You will build a great team to help you and a great network of contacts.
The value of who you are is in the network of people you know.
If you love what you do, everything is possible. If you love what you do, then you need not work for the rest of your life because you are doing something that you love. Isn't that nice?

7. FAITHFULNESS OR TRUSTWORTHY
You often hear the saying, "When you are faithful in what is little, you will be faithful in much." Faithfulness in the little things like punctuality, submitting reports on time, keeping to deadlines and especially when dealing with money or handling what belong to others. When you are faithful in the little, you can be trusted with more responsibilities and promotion will come along.

8. HARD WORK OR DILIGENCE
To deliver above and beyond what is required and to do it well through hard work or diligence. It is about delivering excellence. In doing that, you will be noticed and opportunities will present themselves.

9. INTEGRITY
The more you build your life on integrity, the better will be your way and greater will be your life. You will build trust, people will believe in you and this is the way of a good and trusted leader. A leader that people will willingly follow and respect.

10. GENEROSITY
Be a giving person, a giving organization
Give and much will be given back to you.
I learn the most in volunteering and giving back to the community.

As a Founding Director of the Social Innovation Park, One of the ways that I am involved in to contribute to the community is to champion social entrepreneurship movement which uses business models to solve social issues.

Interestingly, there is an existing global interest in Singapore as the Centre for the 3rd Sector in Asia - creating sustainable change through social entrepreneurship. This 3rd Sector encompasses non-governmental organizations, the non-profit, the voluntary welfare organizations, charities, co-operations, social enterprises and philanthropic bodies.

Charities here pulled in a record $820 million last year. Singapore has great potential as the Centre for the 3rd Sector where our local Warren Buffets and Bill Gates can do good with the bulk of their wealth.
Being in this movement has given me great opportunity to connect not just locally or with Asia, but also GLOBALLY.

Coming back, as I stood there evaluating my purpose at the NUS Commencement Ceremony, I saw Alvin Pang receiving his degree from me, I knew that was the reason for my purpose. My heart was filled with tears of joy.

Few years back, Alvin Pang wrote his story in my book "My Voice", a compilation of youth stories. Alvin was a school dropout and was not able to continue his studies when he failed his PSLE. Due to poor family background he had to work to help support the family. He had to work in all kinds of odd jobs such as newspaper delivery, cleaner, stall assistant because of his lack of education. He often felt the discrimination of others but he was determined to change that by saving hard to go back to study again.

He believed that if he can do every kind of job well he would have no problem with studies. Indeed, he passed his O levels as a private candidate and at 27 years old, he graduated as an outstanding student in Ngee Ann Polytechnic Mass Communication diploma course and went on to pursue his dream at the NUS Business School.

Finally, his spirit of working hard and not giving up has earned him a degree at age 30. Alvin is a great example that when you abide with positive values, it will surely come back to you in a positive way some day. I always believe as you pave your path with the right values, one day it will lead you to the right path.

When much is given, much will be given back to you.

Everything I have today is given to me because I live by these 10 positive values.

10 VALUES TO BUILD TO LAST:

LOYALTY
COMMITMENT
RESPECT
ACCOUNTABILITY
FAMILY
LOVE
FAITHFULNESS
HARDWORK
INTEGRITY
GENEROSITY

ONCE you have these 10 values, I believe you will build a firm foundation for great leadership.

Positive values make you different from others.
Positive values attract opportunities. "

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Check out this really meaningful n cool clip!


Check out this clip...the 11 yr old boy is a really talented dancer...he's good!SALUTE!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ0zq2ZJIoA

10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won't Tell You



Wise words from mr. Hub: "There is a simple lesson to be drawn: Elites buy assets class when they are cheap not expensive, ordinary folks buy "things" when they are expensive as everyone is chasing. "Things" i mean referring to junk stocks that has no value."
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10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won't Tell You
"Class of 2012,
I became sick of commencement speeches at about your age. My first job out of college was writing speeches for the governor of Maine. Every spring, I would offer extraordinary tidbits of wisdom to 22-year-olds—which was quite a feat given that I was 23 at the time. In the decades since, I've spent most of my career teaching economics and public policy. In particular, I've studied happiness and well-being, about which we now know a great deal. And I've found that the saccharine and over-optimistic words of the typical commencement address hold few of the lessons young people really need to hear about what lies ahead. Here, then, is what I wish someone had told the Class of 1988:

1. Your time in fraternity basements was well spent.
The same goes for the time you spent playing intramural sports, working on the school newspaper or just hanging with friends. Research tells us that one of the most important causal factors associated with happiness and well-being is your meaningful connections with other human beings. Look around today. Certainly one benchmark of your postgraduation success should be how many of these people are still your close friends in 10 or 20 years.

2. Some of your worst days lie ahead. Graduation is a happy day. But my job is to tell you that if you are going to do anything worthwhile, you will face periods of grinding self-doubt and failure. Be prepared to work through them. I'll spare you my personal details, other than to say that one year after college graduation I had no job, less than $500 in assets, and I was living with an elderly retired couple. The only difference between when I graduated and today is that now no one can afford to retire.

3. Don't make the world worse. I know that I'm supposed to tell you to aspire to great things. But I'm going to lower the bar here: Just don't use your prodigious talents to mess things up. Too many smart people are doing that already. And if you really want to cause social mayhem, it helps to have an Ivy League degree. You are smart and motivated and creative. Everyone will tell you that you can change the world. They are right, but remember that "changing the world" also can include things like skirting financial regulations and selling unhealthy foods to increasingly obese children. I am not asking you to cure cancer. I am just asking you not to spread it.

4. Marry someone smarter than you are. When I was getting a Ph.D., my wife Leah had a steady income. When she wanted to start a software company, I had a job with health benefits. (To clarify, having a "spouse with benefits" is different from having a "friend with benefits.") You will do better in life if you have a second economic oar in the water. I also want to alert you to the fact that commencement is like shooting smart fish in a barrel. The Phi Beta Kappa members will have pink-and-blue ribbons on their gowns. The summa cum laude graduates have their names printed in the program. Seize the opportunity!

5. Help stop the Little League arms race. Kids' sports are becoming ridiculously structured and competitive. What happened to playing baseball because it's fun? We are systematically creating races out of things that ought to be a journey. We know that success isn't about simply running faster than everyone else in some predetermined direction. Yet the message we are sending from birth is that if you don't make the traveling soccer team or get into the "right" school, then you will somehow finish life with fewer points than everyone else. That's not right. You'll never read the following obituary:  "Bob Smith died yesterday at the age of 74. He finished life in 186th place."

6. Read obituaries. They are just like biographies, only shorter. They remind us that interesting, successful people rarely lead orderly, linear lives.

7. Your parents don't want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which isn't always the same thing. There is a natural instinct to protect our children from risk and discomfort, and therefore to urge safe choices. Theodore Roosevelt—soldier, explorer, president—once remarked, "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed." Great quote, but I am willing to bet that Teddy's mother wanted him to be a doctor or a lawyer.

8. Don't model your life after a circus animal. Performing animals do tricks because their trainers throw them peanuts or small fish for doing so. You should aspire to do better. You will be a friend, a parent, a coach, an employee—and so on. But only in your job will you be explicitly evaluated and rewarded for your performance. Don't let your life decisions be distorted by the fact that your boss is the only one tossing you peanuts. If you leave a work task undone in order to meet a friend for dinner, then you are "shirking" your work. But it's also true that if you cancel dinner to finish your work, then you are shirking your friendship. That's just not how we usually think of it.

9. It's all borrowed time. You shouldn't take anything for granted, not even tomorrow. I offer you the "hit by a bus" rule. Would I regret spending my life this way if I were to get hit by a bus next week or next year? And the important corollary: Does this path lead to a life I will be happy with and proud of in 10 or 20 years if I don't get hit by a bus.

10. Don't try to be great. Being great involves luck and other circumstances beyond your control. The less you think about being great, the more likely it is to happen. And if it doesn't, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being solid.


Good luck and congratulations."

— Adapted from "10½ Things No Commencement Speaker Has Ever Said," by Charles Wheelan. To be published May 7 by W.W. Norton & Co.
A version of this article appeared April 28, 2012, on page C3 in some U.S. editions of The Wall Street Journal, with the headline: 10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won't Tell You.
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Interesting article shared by Moo Mo:
(http://www.marketwatch.com/story/yes-you-can-become-a-millionaire-farmer-2012-05-03?link=MW_Nav_NV)


Yes, you can become a millionaire farmer


By Paul B. Farrell, MarketWatch

"SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. (MarketWatch) — “‘If you want to become rich,” Jim Rogers, investment whiz, best-selling author and one of Wall Street’s towering personalities, has this advice: Become a farmer.”
That was in Time magazine last summer. So did you make the leap? Listen to Rogers? Leave Wall Street? Leave that stuffy ol’ bank? Get on the road to becoming a millionaire farmer?Still thinking? OK, let’s examine four possible ways you could get into farming this year:
  • You could buy some natural resources and commodities mutual funds
  • You can get into a hedge fund, trust, partnership or private equity firm investing in farmland
  • You might actually bite the proverbial bullet, buy a working farm and live off the land or
  • You can have your cake and eat it too, like Michael Murphy who publishes the highly-successful New World Investor biotech newsletter and also operates a unique permaculture farm.
There’s an even bigger reason for abandoning the financial world for farming. “We don’t need more bankers. What we need are more farmers,” says Rogers. “The invisible hand will do its magic.”
In short, farming’s not just another great way to get rich. There’s a higher calling in it, a mix of money, enjoying life, fulfilling your destiny, and a dose of altruism: “The world has a serious food problem,” says Rogers in Steve Gandel’s exciting Time article. And “the only real way to solve it is to draw more people back to agriculture.”
Hopefully this will inspire more bankers to say bye-bye Wall Street, hello “best job of the 21st century.”

Opportunity knocks: world need more farmers, can’t feed 10 billion in 2050

Just how badly does the world need more farmers? Jeremy Grantham’s firm manages $100 billion, warns of an “inevitable mismatch between finite resources and exponential population growth,” plus a “bubble-like explosion of prices for raw materials,” plus commodity shortages that will become a huge “threat to the long-term viability of our species when we reach a population level of 10 billion,” making “it impossible to feed the 10 billion people.” See 5 money moves on commodities bear is making now.
Impossible? Yes, the planet’s “carrying capacity” cannot feed the 10 billion people UN demographers predict on the planet as we add three billion more by 2050. So that’s a constraint on the world’s future. Grantham concluded, “as the population continues to grow, we will be stressed by recurrent shortages of hydrocarbons, metals, water, and, especially, fertilizer. Our global agriculture, though, will clearly bear the greatest stresses.”
In short, agriculture is the world’s biggest commodity problem, biggest challenge and the biggest opportunity, bigger than Wall Street banking on the path to a successful and satisfying life. Below are some ideas and leads on the four paths to success.

Invest in farmland, local, national and worldwide

Here’s another way to leveraging your talents and passion for agriculture, investing in farmland. Bigger players include Canada’s Agcapita, Brazil’s Agrifirma plus American investors like Ceres and Chess Partners. Earlier we wrote about 416 agricultural real estate deals across the world .
Why are these operators crucial to farming? Water and wind erosion are wiping away crop soils 10 to 40 times the rate of soil formation. Forestlands are disappearing at rates over 500 times the replacement rate, a trend accelerated by today’s new age of 100,000-acre mega-fires.
So farmland operations like CeresPartners and ChessCapitalPartners are making valuable contributions by financing and owning smaller farms.
And also on the plus side, remember, throughout history successful farmers often created local banks. They become farmers first, then got rich, then become bankers too.

Invest in a farm, get your hands dirty, operate your own farm

Can you combine farming and Wall Street? You bet. Back when I was on Wall Street at Morgan Stanley one of the top three men commuted from his large working farm in Princeton. Another key man was Barton Biggs, chief global strategist for 30 years. Smart Money said he was “without question the premier prognosticator on the international scene.” Institutional Investor magazine put him on its “All-America Research Team” 10 times.
Biggs now runs the Traxis Partners hedge fund. In his best-seller, “Wealth, War and Wisdom,” Biggs advises investors to prepare for “the possibility of a breakdown of the civilized infrastructure.” How? Be a farmer. Seriously: “Your safe haven must be self-sufficient and capable of growing some kind of food ... It should be well-stocked with seed, fertilizer, canned food, wine, medicine, clothes. … Think Swiss Family Robinson.” 



Michael Murphy is another great example: For decades Murphy has been advising investors on “mega-shifts” in technology, in his New World Investor newsletter and his recent “Survive the Great Inflation.” We detailed his unique operating farm in “12 Tips for Profiting on Commodity Demand.”
Murphy “walks the way he talks,” combining his world of finance with the unique process on his operating farm, a commitment that led to “permaculture” farming certification.

Finance insiders can get ‘rich’ farmers on a ‘permaculture’ path

“Though the problems of the world are increasingly more complex, the solutions remain embarrassingly simple,” says Bill Mollison, co-founder of the global “permaculture” movement. What’s really impressive is the peaceful Zen sense about this spiritually rich permaculture way of life.
That’s right, it’s really not just living in two separate worlds for guys like Murphy. This is a commitment, a way of living. Here’s how the permaculture course describes this way of life:
“Permaculture is an ecological design system for sustainability in all aspects of our lives. Permaculture teaches us how build natural homes, grow our own food, restore diminished landscapes and ecosystems, catch rainwater, build communities, take care of waste and much more.”
“The philosophy within permaculture is one of working with rather than against nature, and of protracted and thoughtful observation rather than premature and thoughtless action. Permaculture design techniques encourage land use which integrates principles of ecology and applies lessons from nature. It teaches us to create settings and construct ecosystems which have the diversity, stability, and the resilience of natural ecosystems. In the spirit of sustainability, it also teaches us to allow natural and designed ecosystems to demonstrate their own evolutions.”
In short, permaculture farming is a way of living, in a different world from agribusiness giants Monsanto and Cargill. Farming is a lifestyle that fits biotech expert Michael Murphy who merges both, much like the great Zen masters and the guys I knew from Morgan Stanley. But most of all, this way of farming is a worldwide movement. And if you want to explore it further, check out all the courses offered by the Permaculture Institute .

15 agricultural innovations to help you be a millionaire farmer

A couple weeks ago, just before the annual Earth Day celebration, the Worldwatch Institute published an impressive list of “15 sustainable agricultural practices that are protecting the environment while also improving people’s livelihoods.” That’s important because these innovations protect the future of our world.
The world of “agriculture provides food for all of us and income for more than one billion people around the world,” says Worldwatch’s Danielle Nierenberg: “Relatively simple innovations to reduce the amount of food we waste, or to help the urban poor become more self-sufficient, can help agriculture feed the world without destroying the planet.”
What an opportunity: Global population is rapidly accelerating, from just six billion 12 years ago to seven billion last year, adding three billion more in the next generation. Rogers got it right: “We don’t need more bankers. What we need are more farmers.”

Alternatively, natural-resources funds or commodity trading

The simplest way to get your feet wet (while you’re thinking about a bigger move into farming and agriculture) would be to get a feel of the market. Invest in some natural-resources funds. We asked analyst Michelle Swartzentruber to compile a top-10 list from the Morningstar database:
You might also take Jim Rogers other suggestion from his 2007 best-seller “Hot Commodities,” where he called commodities the “world’s best market.”
More on this later, but if you look closely at our list of the top-10 best natural resources funds you can see how volatile the underlying commodities have been in recent years: Positive on the short-term year-to-date basis and the longer 3-year annual average basis, but in negative territory on a medium term one-year basis.
Bottom line, if you really want to become a millionaire farmer, my guess is that neither passive funds nor active commodity trading will satisfy a passion for farming. So if you really want to invest in agriculture … if you believe farming is your calling … if you see an opportunity to get rich … and if you have a strong desire to make a contribution to the world’s need to feed billions in the next generation … then at some point you might just walk out the door, into the world of agriculture and become a farmer."